I laid there in bed staring at the ceiling … my eyes wide open. My body was weak and weary from the last few days, but I just couldn’t get any sleep. Thoughts of the events over the past few days run through my mind. I shut them out and soon they stop. I could feel my body start to relax and my mind slip off into sleep … then BAM! Wide awake again.
I continued to lay there in bed, staring at the ceiling. I could feel my flock around me as I laid there motionless. Perhaps, if I don’t move, they will go away, I thought. I blocked myself into a room in the Matrix, something I tend to do when I want to hide from the world. But even that wouldn’t work. The room is designed like a library from the 5th World. Books on all sorts of topics covered the shelves along the walls. A little reading nook with a comfortable chaise lounge chair sat next to a large window.
Just outside of the window was a huge crag of a tree. There was no leaves on this tree and the branches seemed to just exist for birds to perch on. The sky was filled with an overcast of soft grey clouds when a hole every now and then to let in a beam of sunlight. I knew this was just on the Matrix and that its not real, but this place relaxes me. Well normally it does.
I had just opened a book that I have been reading when I heard a knocking. Only the room did not have a door, only book lined walls and the window. I put down the book and asked “who is knocking?” But then there was nothing more.
The knocking continued, but I attempted to ignore the constant tapping on the chamber door. Outside the window, birds started lining up on the branches of the crag. I screamed out “Who the frag is knocking, there is nothing to knock on?” A simple response came back. A whispered tone said “Lenore.”
Now this has gotten my attention, as I don’t really use this name. It was my birth name and the one listed on my SIN. Since I became a runner, I suppressed broadcasting it and never go by it anymore. So who was this calling out my name in my Matrix sanctuary. The knocking continued as I paced the walls trying to pinpoint the source, my eyes kept going to the window to see the gathering birds on the crag. Only this and nothing more.
Suddenly, I spot a bird perched at the top of a bookshelf. It just sat there, silently staring out the window, then to me. I screamed at the bird “This is my sanctuary … GET OUT!”
Still the bird sat silently.
“GET OUT!” I screamed again as I threw the book at it. The book hit the shelf just below the ebony colored bird. It shook its wings and looked at me. “Nevermore”
“What the Frag?” I thought to myself as this small bird spoke the single word. I paced about the room with an eye on the bird and one out the window.
“Who are you?” I asked this bird, perched upon my bookshelf. Only silence came and nothing more.
I paced more and more, keeping my gaze upon this bird as it quielty whispered “Lenore.”
I suddenly stopped instantly in place, my gaze frozen on the bird. Our eyes locked evermore.
“Wait a minute,” I thought to myself or atleast I thought I did until I heard the words out loud. Still, I continued with my thoughts.
“This is my sanctuary on the Matrix, it exists at the whim of me. I can change it, but then how is this bird in my chamber, sitting on the top of the shelf?” I continued to pace as the thoughts continued. As the number of birds, which now fill the branches of the crag tree out the window, I still did not remove my gaze from upon the bird.
It was then I noticed the loneliness. I flitted about looking around the chamber and only found this bird, sitting at the top of the bookshelf. It seemed much smaller now and almost like it was shrinking. The window grew larger as the bird filled crag came closer. Suddenly I was eye to eye with the bird that sat upon the bookshelf. The little ebony raven just sat there staring. When our eyes me, it again whispered “Lenore“.
Just as suddenly, the madness that raced threw me just stopped. I kept the gaze of the raven and the chamber melted away. I found myself back in my room, staring at the ceiling again. My mind still reeling from the raven that sat upon the bookshelf. Its a feeling that I will shake … nevermore.
~~Quoth the Raven~~